
“You‘ve got to ask yourself one question: Do you feel wealthy? Well, do ya, punk?” This is a famous quote from Clint Eastwood in the movie, “Dirty Harry.” Of course I changed one little word for fun.
Even though airline pilot pay rates are at an all-time high, it still seems like the answer to this question is often a resounding, NO! More often than not, instead of realizing how wealthy we really are, our focus is more likely on the painful tax bill we recently paid to Uncle Sam. I understand the feeling. It hurts!
On the other hand, what does it mean to be wealthy? What is true wealth? Is it accumulating as much money as humanly possible? Some people would initially say, yes. However, when challenged, we often realize true wealth might also include our health, time with our family and the quality of our relationships as well. Unfortunately, all those values are often in conflict with making as much money as humanly possible.
I spoke to three people within the last week that had life-changing medical diagnoses. It’s amazing how our perspective, and life, can change so dramatically within minutes. In each of these individuals’ cases their life and their definition of wealth changed very quickly.
In my personal life, I’ve had two major injuries that could have been permanently life-altering, physically. One of those injuries was with exercise bands. Please don’t judge, but I’ll admit that during one careless (really dumb) moment, I nearly permanently blinded myself. The exercise bands were under significant tension and snapped back to hit both of my eyes simultaneously, blinding me for what felt like several hours. I don’t know exactly how long it was because I couldn’t see the clock – this was pre-Siri!
It only took a few seconds after that painful impact to understand where money fit in on my NEW priority list. My definition of wealth changed instantly! Don’t get me wrong, I knew money was still a very important necessity (I was an airline pilot at the time), especially if my blindness at that moment turned out to be permanent.
As an example of how our priorities change, the thought I remember focusing on the most at that moment sitting alone in my condo was how goofy I was going to look when I had to touch my daughter’s face to know what she looked like as she grew older. Isn’t it amazing the amount of detail our minds are capable of during physical and mental stress? Clearly, prior to my eye injury, appreciating how my daughter would change and grow over the years was not on my priority list.
After remembering my own experience and the recent experiences of my friend’s health diagnoses, my definition of true wealth and even success was put into the proper perspective.
Obviously, we shouldn’t need life-altering health experiences to wake us up. So how do we live with an attitude of true wealth? Furthermore, how can we feel at peace with our current financial situation, to know that we don’t just feel wealthier but recognize we really are wealthy by every definition?
I believe that through focusing on thankfulness and practicing gratitude we will come to focus more on the wealth we have versus the things that matter a little less, such as the nasty tax bill due on April 15th.
However, this takes real intention and practice. I continuously challenge myself and so I challenge you to take action on the steps below. It’s not easy. It takes commitment, time and a little vulnerability. You may even feel a little silly about some of the techniques for practicing gratitude. However, the research and evidence are clear that practicing gratitude can increase our feeling of contentment, peace of mind and overall state of wealth. Check out additional articles and research here, here and here.
“This isn’t just a nice sentiment, either. There’s plenty of scientific back-up as to why gratitude is essential to the successful. As this article states, mentally strong people choose to exchange self-pity for gratitude. Doing this will result in things like improved relationships and networking, improved physical health, improved sleep, and improved self-confidence.”
~Leah Gervais, from the blogpost and website Leahgervais.com/the science of getting rich.
Mindset of Gratitude and Abundance:
Our thoughts have a tremendous impact on our lives, both on a conscious and subconscious level. They shape our perceptions of the world around us, influence our emotions, and impact our behavior. In fact, the thoughts we think on a regular basis become ingrained in our subconscious mind, which in turn influences our actions and habits.
Our thoughts translate into words, the way we communicate and express ourselves. Our words, in turn, influence our actions, the way we behave and react in the world.
Questions for you:
- What is your mindset right now? Are you focusing on what’s missing, or what’s working?
- What does “enough” mean to you, and how has that changed over time?
- Do you have a scarcity mindset?
- Negative, ungrateful, focusing on limitations, fear of not having enough, or already worrying about the next recession, stock market decline.
Ways to Practice Gratitude and Change Your Perception of Wealth:
1. Do the planning work. What does “enough” look like in financial terms? Here are a few questions you can ask yourself or your partner to start the planning process:
- What are your financial goals and savings targets?
- What do you want? Not the things other people say you should want.
- What is your personal definition of success? Write it down.
Prior to his death in September 2005, former KPMG CEO Eugene O’ Kelly, wrote an inspirational memoir while he was dying of brain cancer called, Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life
His definition of success became the number of perfect moments he could accumulate before his death. The book’s summary description on Amazon put it this way: The book’s “…haunting yet extraordinarily hopeful voice reminds us to embrace the fragile, fleeting moments of our lives-the brief time we have with our family, our friends, and even ourselves extraordinarily hopeful voice reminds us to embrace the fragile, fleeting moments of our lives-the brief time we have with our family, our friends, and even ourselves.”
2. Get good at Gratitude: “When gratitude becomes an essential foundation in our lives, miracles start to appear everywhere.” ~Emmanuel Dagher
Make a daily list of things you’re grateful for. The part of your brain, called the reticular activating system, acts as a selective filter that determines what enters your conscious awareness and influences your overall level of alertness and attention. After a while, the reticular activating system in the brain starts “looking for” things to put on your gratitude list.
An alternative to writing things down is to develop the habit of a gratitude walk, which is simply observing the things around you or saying what you’re thankful for while you’re walking. Like many other ideas, I stole this one from one of my favorite authors and podcaster, Jon Gordon. You can see a list of his books here and a link to The Jon Gordan Podcast here.
The gratitude walk has been a challenge to integrate into my daily habit and routine. To be honest, it felt very awkward and cheesy when I first started – what do I say? Do I say it out loud? After a while, I made it my own and began to enjoy this ten-to-fifteen-minute daily walk. After a few weeks of consistent gratitude walks, I found myself enjoying little moments more, being more thankful and it even seemed like the days and weeks slowed down a bit. I was more aware of the blessings all around me. (And less aware of what was on the news!)
3. Stop putting the wrong things in! We are great at adapting as human beings. We will adapt to our environment, physically and mentally.
Recently I enjoyed a Ted Talk by Peter Sage titled, “How to Eliminate Self Doubt Forever and the Power of Your Unconscious Mind.” In his talk, Mr. Sage said, “the two biggest things that impact us unconsciously more than anything else are the mainstream media and the peer group we spend time with…” He went on to say, “Turn off the news! For those of you who think the mainstream media is about reporting the news, I got news for you, you’re in Disney Land…the job of mainstream media is to stimulate another part of the brain called the amygdala…designed to notice negative before positive”
He used an analogy of being in the Amazon rainforest at night. Of all the amazing things going on in the forest at night, “…the news takes your flashlight and points it at a snake eating a rat…but you could choose instead to look at the hummingbird being born.” What’s important is what’s going on in your world. Where are you pointing your flashlight?
4. Practice Generosity and Giving. “Gratitude by definition, is focused on others’ care or on entities outside of oneself. It is not about one’s own accomplishments or luck.” Neurosciencenews.com: “Practicing Gratitude Builds Resilience and Hope by Monica Y. Bartlett
Use your financial resources to give back, whether through charitable donations, supporting loved ones, or acts of kindness. Gratitude for your own abundance naturally fosters a desire to help others, reinforcing a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
An article on NBCnews.com titled, “Money can buy happiness — if you give it away” says it all. The article discusses “New research reveals that when individuals dole out money for gifts for friends or charitable donations, they get a boost in happiness while those who spend on themselves get no such cheery lift.”
Next Steps
Look back on what you’ve been through and what you have achieved. What are the things you wished for when you first started out that now you take for granted? (e.g. three car garage, flying commercially to your vacation destination versus driving, the ability to buy a new car, etc.)
When you practice gratitude and thankfulness, you experience life differently and you learn to believe each experience has learning and growth potential. Further, there’s an abundance of opportunity waiting for you:
- You bounce back faster from disappointments.
- You become more psychologically resilient.
- You’re willing to keep trying because you believe good things are in store for you.
I challenge you to try one new mindset habit this week (e.g., gratitude journaling, gratitude walks, gratitude checklist, defining your “enough” number, or sharing abundance with someone else).
I believe if you work to build these habits, you will see the ripple effect in your life. When we notice good things in our lives and in others, we’re more likely to feel content, generous, resilient and truly wealthy.
Give it a shot and let me know how it goes!
All the best!
Charles Mattingly, MBA, CFP® | CEO & Lead Planner
Leading Edge Financial Planning
Charlie@leadingedgeplanning.com
865-240-2292 Office
865-328-4969 Cell/Text
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